Who am I?

I am a Christian. I am a wife. I have birthed four children, raised five, and welcomed others into my home to love. My husband will say I am hard on myself and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I almost never pass up a chance to help anyone, even if I have no idea how to fit it into my schedule.  My friends will tell you I am a wonderful mess! I am a natural researcher.  I spend hours studying just in case I run across something new and exciting I can share.

I started this journey as a birth junkie.  After the birth of my first daughter, I was left wondering what in the world just happened to me.  Everyone said it didn't matter because I had a healthy baby and I was there to raise her.  I knew there had to be a better way!   As a young mother who was working full time, I dropped out of college to raise my daughter. I knew one day I would help women, but for now, I needed to be a mother first.  I read everything  I could get my hands on.  I would search for nursing and OB textbooks at thrift stores.  I offered photography for anyone who wanted to capture their birth.  They got awesome memories, and I got to observe more than 100 births.  I would go home and look up anything I didn't understand.  I had some very gracious doctors become familiar with me and they would let me ask questions.  One day I got brave enough to tell one I was studying midwifery. I am not sure if he thought I was crazy or what but he was intrigued. He started talking through what he was doing when I was there.  He was happy to dazzle me with his skills.  I was impressed, but still felt like he lacked a connection with the women he was serving. THAT was what I wanted to bring to the table.

During this 10 year span, I volunteered to be at births for women who had husbands serving in the military.  I was there to take pictures, but got the most amazing notes about the Support I provided.  I did not even know what a Doula was at the time... but here I was filling that role.  

Then a chance meeting at a Doula training my friend was hosting put me on the roller-coaster ride where I was suddenly using all the studying I had done.  I met Carol Storm.  She took me under her wing. I enrolled in a distant learning midwifery school that she required and I blew through the coursework while attending births with Carol. (I don't say this to be arrogant, but I had read most of the required reading already)  She would talk me through each birth and quiz me.  It was like everything in my head clicked all at once. I was excited for every prenatal, every call.  Before I knew it, I was doing prenatal appointments on my own.  I pictured myself working under Carol forever. It was perfect.  God had other plans though.  Carol's family needed her  at home in Nebraska.  I did so much talking, crying and praying about what this meant. I was heartbroken!  Carol sat me down and told me she had already talked with the women who were still expecting and they were comfortable with transferring care to me.  The purpose of an apprenticeship is for an experienced midwife to determine if a younger midwife is ready.  Carol said I was ready. I was Ready!

My first birth without Carol was so intense.  It was the first shoulder dystocia I have seen.  Baby was just a little floppy.  I turned to hand the baby to Carol.  I needed Carol.  I started to pray because my mind was blank.  God took over.  My hands moved. Baby cried and was put on mom to nurse.  I walked on her front porch and felt tears well up.  This was the moment I knew no amount of time or studying could give me the power to be in charge of life. I was merely an instrument in this grand design.  I am so blessed that I was called into this work.  I am thankful to be trusted into every birth space I am invited into.